The Women's Center

Success Stories

Hello to the human being who is able to sit down for a few moments to read this story.  Yet, to me it's not just a story, but a true story.  And, yes, I feel like a human being again. It's been since April 9th of 2006, when I left my husband (now, ex) of 20 years. 

That was a long time to be married to someone and to finally have the dignity to leave him. 

Throughout the years, I followed him while he had his career with the military. We eventually had three wonderful children.  My daughter, who is now 10 years old, and my twin boys who are now 8 years old are with me.  It has been the hardest years of my life since I left him.  Why did I leave him?  I was lead to believe I was worthless, fat, I didn't have a mind of my own, not able to speak up for myself. I was continually being degraded with words such as psycho and loony. 

He started being very controlling and sneaky.  He was more like a stranger to me, but he used to be my best friend and husband.  How could he and why was he being so mean to me?  Then, he started being mean to my children  They didn't want to be alone with him. 

Prayer!  My faith in God helped me be strong.  I wasn't psycho and I'm not loony.  I do have a mind and I'm worthy.  I'm worthy enough to have three children and to be a human being again!  It took me six months of this type of living with him to finally leave him.  I've been good to him.  He had everything and everything was in his name.  The BMW, corvette, his exclusive $8,000 professional drum set and "mega" tools.  You would think he owned Home Depot.  His closet was full of nice clothes, while my closet had a few.  Yes!  I did put him first. Material stuff. 

I just cared about my family before anything else.  But, my husband, was not like part of our family anymore.  He was more like our enemy.  I prayed to God everyday he would go away. 

My prayer was answered on that sunny day in April 2006.  I knew if  I didn't leave, he was eventually going to come back and continually belittle me, or kill me.  He left for truck driving school and I left for the shelter.  All the proper authorities got involved.  I had mentioned earlier the children didn't want to be alone with him.  He did wrong things to them.

We were hiding from him for two and a half years.  We left him and have struggled financially, emotionally and physically.  But, we were free from him.  Free from his ugliness.  Free from his worthless words.  His empty words.  His actions of wrongdoing. 

Recently, after three years of a custody battle for my three children, I finally got full custody.  I have been going to college and we have a cute 2 bedroom apartment.  On my first semester, I made the Dean's List for being an A student.  What?  Is this the same human being that was psycho, loony and didn't have a mind of her own?

I've been paying my rent, electricity and phone bills on time and clothing my kids.  They are fed daily with food and lots of love.  They don't have to be scared.  He gets no visitation.

I have a little money left, but I am content.  I am happy because I finally feel like a human being again. 

I thank God for my daily blessings.  Have faith in God and don't give up!!

-Survivor story written December 2008

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